


Nothing Burns Like The Cold

by Retrogeekgal



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avenger Reader (Marvel), Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes gets to be funny, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hydra (Marvel), Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, Make Out Session, Making Out, Mind Control, Mostly Canon Compliant, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Captain America: The First Avenger, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-HYDRA Reveal, Protective Bucky Barnes, Reader-Insert, SHIELD, Space Heater, Super Soldier Serum, Time Skips, Trust, Trust Kink, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Worship, bucky is freezing, took a few liberties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:40:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24712495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Retrogeekgal/pseuds/Retrogeekgal
Summary: When you’re captured by Hydra, you have no idea what they truly have in store for you. After they've taken your blood, the Winter Soldier is sent in to eliminate you. Having Super Soldier abilities yourself, you’re able to defend yourself while reminding the Soldier who he really was.As you’re forced to remain in close quarters with him, you start to fall for the Soldier when he remembers more and more the man he used to be, Bucky Barnes. When Hydra comes for you both, you realize how deeply S.H.I.E.L.D. has been infected by the same people that want you dead, people you thought you could trust.With time running out, you realize that no matter how much you care about each other, it's impossible that you’ll be able to escape from Hydra unscathed.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Steve Rogers & Reader
Comments: 19
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tobi_Starr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobi_Starr/gifts).



> Part 1 is set before the CA:Winter Soldier, part 2 is set after CA:Civil War.
> 
> Enjoy!

You always liked the cold, more so now that your body constantly feels like a furnace. Just one of the side effects of the Super Soldier serum now running through your veins. 

Steve had warned you that something like this could happen; his body always ran a few degrees too warm for his own comfort. It took some getting used to, that was for sure.

Using his blood, S.H.I.E.L.D. had finally been able to replicate the serum that enhanced Steve back in 1943. Tony had built the chamber by sifting through his father’s notes and filling in the blanks with his own updated technology. They just needed a volunteer.

Lightning quick on your feet, sassy and intelligent to boot, you rose up through S.H.I.E.L.D.’s ranks quickly. You knew that always led to you being Steve and Tony’s first pick to join every mission they went on. You never turned them down, especially given how close you and Steve were.

After you first met, he had always told you how much you reminded him of his best friend. It was a compliment you took very seriously. Steve Rogers was a good man so you wouldn’t have expected that James ‘Bucky’ Barnes would have been anything less.

If he was half as sarcastic and funny when he was alive as Steve said you were, you know you would’ve been great friends.

When Steve called you up to his office after a grueling mission, you were nervous that something had gone wrong. When you arrived at the Triskelion, he and Tony had explained the opportunity you were about to be presented with. You didn’t hesitate, you jumped at the chance to be S.H.I.E.L.D.'s first female Super Soldier. 

That’s how you found yourself in the middle of nowhere Russia, on a reconnaissance mission with Steve and the rest of the team. 

Everything was going well until, well... Until it wasn’t. You weren’t sure where the first shot had come from but before you knew it, the team was under heavy fire. “Cap!” You called out, firing a round at the trees. “Where are these guys coming from? Are you alright?”

You could hear more shooting through the comms, as well as the sound of Clint’s arrows whistling through the air. “I’ve got no idea. But yeah I’m fine, punk.” You could hear Steve’s affection for you through the comm.“I could do this all day. Where are you?” 

The woods you were in made for easy defense. Unfortunately for you, it also made for easy cover for whoever was hunting down your team. You didn’t see him coming. Over the chaos of the fight, he was able to sneak in and take down three agents before he got to you. 

You narrowly dodged the bullet as it whizzed past you into the tree you leaned against. Looking up in confusion, a silhouette of black stood against the afternoon sun. He attacked so quickly, you didn't even have a chance to defend yourself. You saw a glint of silver then your vision went black.

***

You aren't sure how long you've been out, but when you wake, your head feels like it's been split in two. Weakly, you push yourself up from the cold stone of the floor and glance around. It's too dark to really make out any distinguishing features but you have to assume you're in a cell of some kind. 

Gingerly patting yourself down, you realize that while you’re still in your tactical suit, you’ve been disarmed. Your suit was similar to Steve’s, outfitted with hidden spaces for whatever weapons you’d need. As you feel for them, you sigh when you understand how thorough your captors have been.

“Ona v soznanii*.” A voice calls from behind you. You whip your head around, trying to adjust your eyes to the darkness. You can make out four figures on the other side of the bars.

 _Four against one?_ You’ve won against worse odds before. Once you’re standing, you cross the small distance to the gate of your cell.

“What do you want with me?” You demand, refusing to let your captors know how afraid you actually are. When they refuse to answer, you slam your fist against one of the metal bars. “You have no idea who you’re dealing with.”

You hear one of them chuckle, infuriating you further. “Printsessa, we know exactly who we’re dealing with. Why do you think you’re here?” The tallest, clearly the leader steps into the dim lighting. He grins when he sees your confused expression. “We know _what_ you really are.”

 _There’s no way._ S.H.I.E.L.D. hadn’t told anyone about recreating the serum, let alone that they’d actually used it. How could they know that you were the one with the finished product running through your veins? “If you know _what_ I really am, then you know that my team will stop at nothing to find me.”

“They can try.” A new voice answers from the darkness. “But we have already taken what we need from you, printsessa and when the Asset returns, there will be no body left for the _Avengers_ to find.”

You know your training, you know how to deal with these men. Whoever they are, they are waiting to kill you until this _Asset_ returns. That buys you a bit of time to find your way out of this. You know that Steve and the team will find you, you just have to ensure they find you alive.

“What do you mean you’ve already taken what you need from me?”

The leader laughs, stepping closer to the bars. “No, no.” He wags his finger at you. “No more questions from you.” He crosses his arms, leering at you predatorily. 

“But if you survive the night, maybe we can work something out.” He’s trying to goad you, trying to get you to lose your composure and let something slip. It won’t work. 

You shake your head and step away from the bars. Silently, you side down to the floor of your cell and rest your head against the wall. Once they realize that you won’t be baited, they'll leave and you’ll be able to assess the situation and come up with a plan of escape. 

_You hope._

***

From your estimation, you’ve been here for three days. They’ve fed you once, sliding a jug of water and a loaf of bread on a round tray through the space at the bottom of the cell door. 

During your recon of the cell, you’ve found nothing that you can use as leverage to escape. Even the tray is a cheap plastic, useless for trying to pry open the door. 

You look up when you hear footsteps coming down the hallway. One set, heavy combat boots, the gait long and steady. You have to assume it's the Asset. You have no weapons on you to defend yourself with, whoever took you made sure of that. 

You rise from the floor, balancing yourself with your feet ready to pounce. The man comes into view and you realize that you need to use the term _man_ loosely. From what you can see of his face, he’s young. His hair obscures most of his features, hanging limply around his face as he enters the code to open your cell. 

You do your best to quickly assess him before he moves closer to you. He has a tactical suit of his own, leaving no inch of him exposed. He’s dressed entirely in black, save for the silver covering his left arm down to his fingertips. The only thing you make out is the light blue of his eyes as he stares at you.

From the looks of it, he’s only a few inches taller than you but easily carries fifty extra pounds of muscle. If this is going to be a fight, it won’t be a fair one but you still have to try. He stalks his way into the cell, twisting his face into a scowl as he approaches. 

Wasting no time, you throw the first punch. You’re hoping to force him into action and reveal his fighting style. He catches your fist mid swing, twisting your arm. You whirl around and drop down to the floor, kicking your leg out to hit his. The Asset steps backward and quickly rights himself while you stand.

He pulls a slim dagger from his side holster and wields it defensively. He flicks his wrist, attempting to drive the knife into your side but you parry away from him before he can get too close. You throw a right hook, hitting him in the jaw. The Asset doesn’t even flinch. 

You throw punch after punch, hoping to wear him down. The only thing it’s doing is wearing _you_ down. You twist and roundhouse kick him, a move he wasn’t expecting. When you’re finally able to knock the dagger from his hand, it skitters out of the cell and out of your reach. 

The Asset narrows his eyes and moves again. He throws two punches, one to your stomach and one to your mouth. You dodge the first but aren’t quick enough to dodge the second. The force behind his blow sends you flying backward, into the wall of your cell. 

Panting heavily, you push yourself up and wipe the blood from your lip. Before you can step forward, his silver covered arm reaches out and grabs you tightly by the neck.

You lash out once he’s pulled you to him and tug the mask he’s wearing off his face. The handsome features you see shock you. He looks strangely familiar, like you’ve seen him somewhere before. _Do I know him?_

Your action startles the Asset, giving you a chance to try to pull yourself free from his grip. You try to scratch your fingers down his arm, panic settling in your stomach when you realize it's not _covered_ in silver. 

_It’s completely metal_. Knowing that you won’t be able to get free that way, you haul off and punch him in the nose. 

The Asset releases you and staggers backward, clutching at his face. You stumble backward and land hard on your side as you fall. “You don’t know when to give up, _do you?_ ” He growls, shaking his head. 

You reach out and grab the tray off the ground. It’s no bigger than a platter but when you rise, you position it in front of yourself like a shield. You narrow your eyes and step forward. “ _I could do this all day_.” You grind out as he winds back to take another swing.

His arm falls to his side. “ _What did you just say_?” 

“I said, I could do this all day.” You repeat, stepping forward. “So let’s go. I’m not just going to _let_ you kill me.” The Asset stares at you with a bewildered expression before turning on his heel and slamming the cell door shut. 

You shake your head in confusion. _What the hell just happened?_ “Hey!” You call out through the bars. “What are you doing?”

You’re met with nothing but the sound of his hurried footsteps down the hallway. 

***

The next day, you hear three sets of footsteps heading in your direction. You push yourself up off the floor and try to mentally prepare yourself for whatever’s coming now. The laughing you hear makes you step closer to the bars so you can hear what they’re saying. 

“Not much of an asset if you ask me. Couldn’t even finish off one stupid girl. Pierce said he’s our deadliest weapon?” The voice laughs again. 

_Pierce? Alexander Pierce? What does he have to do with this?_

“Don’t question him, Pierce has never swayed in his loyalty to Hydra. The Asset seemed so shaken, the Handler was concerned we were going to have to wipe him. I told the Handler that we should have taken that uniform off of her. I don’t care if it’s been almost seventy years, he might’ve recognized it.” 

“But that doesn’t matter right, Soldat? You don't leave the cell until you’ve finished the mission and killed her.”

“Ponimal**.”

You step back, mind racing as you try to piece together everything you’ve just heard. Pierce was loyal to Hydra? You thought Steve had dismantled Hydra back in 1945. And what did your uniform have to do with anything? 

It’s a standard tactical suit, just like Steve’s. _Just like Steve’s._ The color of your suit matched Steve’s almost identically. Why would that matter to anyone? _There’s no way._

When you ripped the Asset’s mask off, you had seen his face. You knew you had seen it somewhere before, you just hadn’t made the connection until now. You had seen it, smiling and happy, in the picture on Steve’s desk. Bucky Barnes. _But there’s no way, Steve told me he died._

But somehow Steve had survived hadn’t he? So was it really that much of a stretch to assume that maybe Bucky could have as well? 

You don’t have much more time to organize your thoughts. The two men who were talking leer at you. “Sleep well, printsessa?” The older one asks, pressing the buttons to open your cell door. 

When you don’t answer, he chuckles and motions the third man inside. “You have your orders, Soldat. We will return in the morning.”

 _Well_ _fuck_. You know you won’t survive the night. _Unless…_ Thinking quickly, you grab the tray you used yesterday as a shield and hold it in front of you. “You don’t have to do this.” You whisper, stepping backward. “I know who you are, you don’t have to hurt me.”

When he crosses the distance quickly, you press yourself against the wall. “Wait! You recognised something I said yesterday right? I said, _I can do this all day._ When's the last time you heard that?” 

He reaches out for you and you duck down, rolling away from him. “Stop, please! You’re James Barnes, aren’t you? Steve is going to be so happy you’re alive!”

Knife raised, he turns and tilts his head in confusion. “James Barnes? Steve?”

You nod your head. “Yes, listen to me. You’re Sergeant James Barnes. Your best friend, Steve Rogers, called you Bucky.” You push yourself off the wall and continue speaking. “You were a Howling Commando, you worked with Captain America, like I do now. Bucky please -”

“Don’t call me that.”

Taking a deep breath, you slowly take another step. “Okay, I won’t. Do you have something else I can call you? The Asset seems so inhuman.”

He steps forward, lowering his knife. “Soldat.” 

“Fine, Soldat.” You can feel panic rising in you. You have to convince him who he really is. Your life depends on it. “You’ve been friends with Steve Rogers since childhood. You were a Sergeant in the 107th Infantry Regiment. Your company was captured and Steve, Captain America, rescued you."

His face twists in confusion as you speak. "You were his second in command, a highly skilled sniper. Do you remember any of that? He’s coming to find me. _Steve_. I’ve been missing for over almost a week. You’ll see him, you’ll recognise him.”

You watch as the soldier shakes his head, trying to clear the confusion clouding his mind. He narrows his eyes when he glances back up at you. _Shit._ He pushes you back against the wall and presses the knife to your throat. “ _Stop lying to me_.” He growls, inches from your face.

Trembling, you close your eyes and let a few tears slip down your cheeks. “You… you used to call Steve ‘punk’ and he’d call you ‘jerk’. _Please._ I… I have no reason to lie to you!” You brace yourself for the sting of metal against your skin but it never comes. Instead you hear the clatter of metal hitting cement.

Slowly, you open your eyes and watch him stagger backward toward the other end of the cell. You watch him clutch at his head as if you've struck him. You take a step forward, terrified that this is some kind of trap. When you step on something, you glance down and realize that he dropped his knife. 

You quickly pick it up and hold it out in front of you. “What are you doing?” You hiss, flipping the knife to strike if necessary. 

“Don’t come near me.” The soldier stares at you with wild eyes. “I don’t…” He tumbles to the ground, groaning in pain. “You’re my mission.” He mumbles, tugging at his hair. “But I don’t want… _stay over there_. _Please_.”

It's the _please_ that stops you in your tracks. It sounds broken and defeated coming from his mouth. “Alright.” You agree slowly. “You stay in your corner and I’ll stay in mine. But I’m keeping this knife.” The soldier nods without looking up and you slide to the floor.

You’re afraid to sleep. Afraid that if you close your eyes, the fragile alliance you have will end when you’re not awake to defend yourself. 

***

You’re startled by the soldier’s mumbling when you wake up. Fear courses through you when you lift your head and find him pacing back and forth in the cell, tugging his fingers through his hair.

“Bucky, _who the hell is Bucky_? I’m the Asset. Nothing more. Weapon. _She’s not lying_. I remember. Do I? Steve, _Stevie._ You’re a punk.” He stops when he hears you shift your weight into a sitting position. 

You push yourself up and hold out the dagger. The soldier opens his mouth to say something else when you both hear footsteps down the hall. He stares dispassionately at you as you prepare to fight if you need to. 

“You’ve failed, Soldat.” The older man remarks. “So much for being a _perfect weapon_.”

The soldier straightens his spine at the other man’s taunting. “We are evenly matched. I need more time.”

“Then you’ve got all weekend.” The man laughs, glancing at you. “That should be fun, for one of you at least.” Without another word, the two men take back off down the hall. 

_All weekend? They_ cannot _be serious._

The soldier slides down to the floor and stares up at you, gesturing to the knife. “You don’t need that.”

“ _The hell I don’t_.” 

He flexes the fingers of his metal arm into a fist. “You and I _are_ evenly matched. I don’t know how, but I could tell. You’re like me.”

You lean against the wall, careful to keep plenty of distance between you. “Not quite like you, more like Steve. But yes.” You tilt your head, considering him. “When they came, why did you ask for more time? If you’re going to kill me, we both know I can’t protect myself forever.”

The soldier leans his head back and closes his eyes. “Because I see flashes that don’t make sense. But they _must_ , because I think they’re memories. How is it possible? You know who I am, who I _was_.”

He lets out a heavy sigh. “I was told to eliminate you, but you’ve done nothing to me. _I don’t want to hurt you.”_

That’s a start. “Okay, well. I’m gonna keep this knife, just in case.” You slide it into your empty thigh holster. “What have you been remembering?”

The soldier opens his eyes and meets yours. “I remember the war, I remember fighting next to Steve. _I remember Steve_. He called me Buck. I remember Agent Carter turning me down when I asked her to dance.”

“That’s really good.” You praise him, encouraging him to continue. “What else?”

“I remember the train. There was snow on the ground, on the tracks. I remember the side of the train car being blown away.” He looks away from you and speaks so quietly you have to strain to hear him. “I remember falling out. Steve tried to reach for me, but… I remember falling. I could see his face. Then I just remember _pain_.”

You let out a slow breath. He’s truly remembering, he has to be. “I’m sorry for what’s been done to you.” You tell him, knowing that he’s just as much of a prisoner as you are. “When we get out of here, he’s going to be so happy to have you back.”

***

The next two days pass quickly. You stay on your side and the soldier stays on his. You help him fill in the blanks as he remembers more and more. 

Not only does he remember his past, he remembers what Hydra has made him do. A small part of your heart breaks for him. No one should have to do anything against their will like that.

Talking to him is like filling out a blank slate. Hydra must’ve ripped out every bit of Bucky Barnes and put a brutal killing machine in its place. 

At some point, the conversation turns to Steve and how he’s managed to survive this long. You give him a hard stare. “A few months after you were reported killed, Steve crashed his plane to prevent a missile from blowing up New York. He was able to kill the Red Skull and save millions of lives that day. He was frozen in the crash, stayed that way until about a year ago.”

The soldier laughs softly to himself. “Steve was _always_ one for dramatics.”

“So we’re joking now?” You ask before you can stop yourself.

He raises an eyebrow at your comment. “Well I _used_ to be hilarious.”

 _Alright then, I’d call this progress._ The topic changes to you and you carefully explain how you became a super soldier like Steve, like the soldier. 

“I wanted to be able to help people, make a difference in the world.” You explain, resting your arms on your raised knees. “I don’t very much like bullies, I just wanted to be a part of something that could stop them.”

“You sound like Steve.” The soldier grins, crossing his arms. “He didn’t like bullies either. He tried to enlist -”

You cut him off with a laugh. “Five times. He told me. And it’s funny, he told me I reminded him of _you_ actually. He even called me ‘punk’.”

The soldier leans back into the corner. “Yeah, I can see it. You’re obviously fearless and pretty damn smart to piece everything together the way you did.” 

You watch his body shiver from the cold in the cell. You aren’t bothered by it at all but he seems to be freezing. You glance around, knowing that there isn’t a blanket anywhere in the small space. 

“Are you cold?” You ask him, pushing yourself to your feet. He nods wordlessly, wrapping his arms around himself. Making what you hope isn’t a stupid decision, you cross the distance and nudge his boot with yours. “Move over,” you tell him gently. 

He lifts his head in confusion. “What are you -”

“I run hot, like Steve does.” You settle yourself next to him. “If I’m close to you, I can help you get warm.”

Despite his hesitation, he instinctively leans into your warmth. He settles his head on your shoulder and sighs. “You don’t have to do this. I mean, I tried to kill you.”

You chuckle and let your head lean back. “I know I don’t have to, but I want to, Soldat. You were obeying orders, you didn’t have a choice. Just, let's not try it again, huh?”

“I won’t hurt you,” he promises. “And call me Bucky. I’ve missed it.”

You smile and nestle yourself closer to him. Bucky snuggles up to you, letting out a sigh of contentment as he finally starts to feel warm. “Alright, _Bucky_.”

***

“Do you always run that cold?” You ask him when you wake the next morning. He’s wrapped around you; a half awake, disheveled mess. 

After a full night’s rest, you can truly see how handsome he is. Steve had said Bucky was only twenty- eight when he died, but right now he seems so young and vulnerable.

Bucky makes a small noise and untangles himself from you. “I never used to. After Hydra did what they did to me, I was _always_ cold. It’s like I can’t get warm. I feel chilled from my head to my damn feet.”

“The serum makes me run warm, like a furnace.” You roll your eyes. “It makes me crazy actually, I hate being hot. But I think we evened each other out last night. I felt comfortable for the first time since I took the serum.”

Bucky laughs and pushes himself to his feet. “I feel the same. I can’t remember the last time I actually got a good night’s rest.” He holds a hand out to you to help you stand. “Thanks doll.”

You can feel yourself flush, making you turn away from him for a moment. “So uh, what do we do about tomorrow?” You ask him, pretending to fix something on your uniform. “When those soldiers come back.”

“You said that Steve would find you, right?” He asks. Nodding, you turn around and cross your arms. “So I keep stalling for time. They have no reason to believe that I’m not their Asset. And when that stops working, we’ll figure it out. Together.”

You rip off a small piece of bread that you’ve rationed and offer half of it to him. “Sounds like a plan. You still cold?” He nods, making you walk over to him and snuggle close. As soon as Bucky starts to feel the heat coming off of you, he smiles. 

You both stay like that for hours. Bucky wraps his arms around you and it’s your turn to feel content. You hope that Steve gets here soon, Bucky deserves to be able to live a life free of all of this. 

***

Surprisingly, Bucky’s plan works. The two men mock him viciously that he couldn’t kill someone as inconsequential as you but they do drop off bread and water for him. 

“We’ll be back in a day or two.” One of them snarks as he drops the tray. “Maybe by then, you’ll have finished your mission.”

Over the next two weeks, you and Bucky grow closer. Your captors have stopped feeding you, hoping that the lack of food and water will weaken you so he can finish his job. It doesn't. Bucky shares what he’s given with you over stories of his past and your present. 

Each night, you let Bucky snuggle up to you, acting as a human space heater for him. You don’t mind, you know he’s feeling like himself again and that’s what matters. You hadn’t anticipated developing feelings for him, but you know you are.

Bucky is witty and fun, laughing with you over stories about your life before becoming an agent. When he smiles, his entire face lights up and you find yourself wants to make him smile every chance you get. Never in a million years did you think you could feel this way about someone you had initially tried to defend yourself from.

You know you already had the thought, but he truly is handsome. His eyes are a deep shade of blue that remind you of the raging ocean. You briefly wonder what they would look like in the light of the sun.

The last night the two of you are together, you nestle yourself under Bucky’s arm and stare up at him. “I never imagined that you and I would’ve… that you could mean so much to me.”

He rests his head on top of yours and lets out a soft sigh. “I feel the same.” He wraps his arms around you, snuggling closer to your warmth. “You’ve given me my memories back, doll. I’m me again. I can never repay you.”

“When we get out of here, do you think we could? You know, make a real go of this? I know there’ll be rough times ahead but I think you’re worth it.” You smile into the darkness. “Besides, I wouldn’t mind having a personal air conditioner.”

Bucky laughs, his chest rumbling near your ear. “You are certainly worth it, doll. And I certainly don’t mind having you next to me all the time. I can actually _sleep_ with you, I don’t feel like there’s ice running through me.”

You close your eyes and let yourself drift off, feeling safe in his arms. 

***

You hear shouting before you open your eyes. Fighting through the fog of confusion, you push yourself to your feet as quickly as you’re able. Bucky is shielding you from the four Hydra agents attempting to get into your cell. 

They’re angrily shouting in Russian as the tallest points at you. “What’s happening?” You hiss, pulling the knife from your holster. 

“They found us wrapped around each other.” Bucky grits through his teeth. “They figured it out.” _Shit._ You move to stand beside him, ready to fight if you need to. He turns to you quickly. “If they say the words, you need to run.” You furrow your brow, not knowing what he means. 

“I won’t be me anymore!” He shouts, lunging at one of the men. “The Soldier will come out.” You nod, understanding the danger the two of you are in. 

You both hold off longer than you expected, two against four, but eventually you can feel the weariness of fatigue creeping into your muscles. When you duck down to avoid a punch, you aren’t able to dodge the kick to your stomach.

Breathing heavily, you fall backward in the cell. Before you can push yourself up, you hear the cell door slam shut. Bucky is being held by the four of them as a newcomer, a younger man with furious eyes, leers at you through the bars. “Whatever this was printsessa, it’s over now. The Asset will be wiped and we will deal with you accordingly.”

“No!!” You scream, as one of the men hits Bucky in the face, knocking him to the ground. He shakes his head, unsteadily pushing himself to his feet. Bucky spins quickly, grabbing a pistol from the hoster of one of the men. He shoots the four of them, one after the other, smiling grimly as each of them drop.

The younger man sneers at you and crosses his arms. “I will make him suffer as you watch. Then I’ll make him choke the life from you as _I_ watch.” You shake your head in horror as the man turns to face Bucky. “ _Zhelaniye. Prorzhavevshiy_. _Pech’._ ” Bucky’s eyes widen as he freezes.

“Go,” You whisper, watching in horror as you understand these must be the words to trigger the Winter Soldier. “Bucky, _go_!”

When Bucky meets your eyes, you see every bit of his fear and panic in the deep blue of his irises. “I’ll come back for you. I promise.” You nod as he takes off running down the hallway. 

The man grins at you as he turns back. “He won’t get far, printsessa.”

He walks away from you slowly, calling out louder as he follows Bucky. _“Rassvet. Semnadtsat’. Dobrokachestvennyy. Devyat’. Odin. Gruzovoy avtomobil'.”_ At first you hear only silence, your heart thuds in your chest as you pray that Bucky was fast enough to get away. 

The silence stretches on for what feels like forever. You will your heart to relax, to ease the insistent panicked thumping. Bucky will be fine. He got out. He’ll -

You hear agonized screaming from a distant corner of the base. _Bucky._ You cover your mouth with your hand to keep from screaming yourself. _They found him._ You let yourself slide down the wall of your cell, fearing the worst. His screaming continues and you wrap your arms around your knees and sob.

***

You’re left alone for three days. You can do nothing but pace back and forth in your cell, each step bringing you closer to the fear that you and Bucky won’t be leaving here alive. When you finally hear footsteps down the hall, you look up warily. 

The gait is completely different from Bucky’s but you recognize it just the same. When the man comes into view, you let out a sigh of relief. You know this man, you’ve worked alongside him for the last year. Brock Rumlow. 

You climb to your feet quickly and cross the small space to the cell door. “Rumlow!” You call out, letting your voice echo down the hallway. “Thank God. Is the rest of the team here? I don’t know how many soldiers are here, but -” 

You cut yourself off when you see a cruel smirk work its way onto Rumlow’s face. You narrow your eyes in suspicion. “ _I_ _s the team here_ , Rumlow?” 

When he shakes his head, fear plants itself in the pit of your stomach. One of the soldiers had mentioned Pierce working with them. Was it possible that they were telling the truth? And if they were, did that mean that there were more of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s agents working for Hydra? Staying hidden in the ranks for your organization?

“Bucky screamed for you.” Rumlow sneers, leaning as close to you as the bars will allow. “You made him remember everything. He didn’t want to leave you, fought us tooth and nail when we told him we were gonna kill you. He got all weepy about it too, til they put his brain back in the blender.”

“How long?” You whisper, struggling desperately not to let your fear show in the waver of your voice. “How long have you -”

Rumlow laughs, the sound making you shiver as it reverberates through the hall. “Worked for Hydra? Aww, Dollface. I’ve been with Hydra all along. For seventy years, Hydra has been secretly infiltrating S.H.I.E.L.D., infecting it’s very core. It’s been creating wars to be fought, eliminating lives that could threaten our success.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“It’s interesting.” He smiles, reaching through the bars for you. “When Rogers first recruited you, I thought you’d make a great soldier for us. Smart, loyal, kept your head down. When Pierce staged your kidnapping, we wanted to take you for Hydra. Then you just _had_ to go and fix Barnes. You got him killed, Dollface. Now we have to start all over.”

You stagger backward, as if you’ve been slapped. _They killed Bucky? They must be lying, they have to be._ Shaking your head, you blink back the tears that threaten to fall. You refuse to shed a tear in front of him. “ _You’re lying_.” You hiss angrily.

“Am I?” Rumlow tilts his head, his dark eyes glittering under the overhead light. “He’s damaged goods, babe. We could only wipe him so many times before he stopped being compliant.” He starts keying the code to your cell door. “I put a bullet between his eyes. Now, you’re it. I wanted to kill you but Pierce still thinks we can use you.”

He walks in slowly, letting the door slide shut behind him. “It’ll be perfect.” He grins, pulling a syringe from his pocket. You back away slowly, trying to assess the threat as quickly as possible. “You’ll be our secret weapon, Rogers and Stark will have no idea.”

Your eyes widen as he steps closer to you. “You’ll come back from your _kidnapping_ weary but unharmed, remembering nothing. They’ll welcome you with open arms, having no idea the chaos you’ll inflict on our command. You’ll take out the Captain first, obviously. He trusts you completely. Then Stark. Chop down the two that will most get in our way. Then Fury. You’ll be our perfect soldier, better than Barnes ever could be.” 

“ _I would never hurt them_.” You swear softly, feeling yourself hit the concrete wall behind you. “I’d rather die.”

Rumlow catches your fist as it lashes out, twisting your wrist easily. The pain of it drops you to your knees. “That’s tempting Dollface, but you won’t have a choice in the matter.” 

You feel a prick against your skin, then darkness overtakes your vision.


	2. Chapter Two

Your head feels like it’s pounding as you blink slowly to try and clear your vision. At first you have no idea where you are. The room is steel grey; it looks like you’re underground. You stumble out of the chamber you were laying in, trying to shake off the remnants of a chill. 

Your vision settles on the man in front of you. Your senses go into overdrive when you take in his narrowed eyes and hard set jaw. _The Asset._

His hair is a bit longer than it was when you saw him the day before. How is that possible? You must be mistaken, but that’s not the only thing that’s changed about him. 

The soldier's arm is different. Darker metal with gold coursing through it, somehow it looks less deadly but you know not to trust appearances. 

“Take a deep breath.” You hear him say. What is he trying to pull? You don’t intend to give him a chance to get the upper hand. You drop down into a crouch, ready to defend yourself when he strikes. He steps forward and you kick your leg out to try and knock him down. The action startles him, forcing him to quickly right himself and reach out for you.

You stand quickly and move in for an uppercut. He dodges the first hit easily and raises his human arm to shield his face before you can go in for a second punch. You spin away, kicking him in the chest in the process. When he stumbles backward, you use his confusion against him. 

Leaning in again, his metal arm reaches out to grab the collar of your uniform. “ _Enough._ ” He commands, pulling you to him. “Don’t make me hurt you. You've gotta listen to -” 

You push against him, using his body as leverage to lift your knee and push back. You watch as the collar of your uniform rips away in his hands. When he steps back, you twist yourself away, landing unceremoniously on the ground. 

“You know me, doll.” The Asset murmurs softly. “I’m Bucky - Steve’s best friend. _You know me._ ” _Bucky? Steve?_ You shake your head, trying to place how you know those names. You aren’t sure what he’s trying to do, confuse you so you’ll lower your guard? _Not gonna happen._ You’re smarter than that. 

Chest heaving from exertion, you push yourself up and eye him warily. Whatever your captors did to you has made you weaker, you can’t manage to get a hit in. The asset steps closer to you as you rise and pull back your fist to take another swing. 

“Buck,” The new voice from over The Asset’s shoulder startles you. “Is it her?” You keep your fist raised and take a step forward.

With narrowed eyes, you watch the owner of the new voice step into the room. He’s taller than the Asset and wearing something similar to your own tactical suit. “Steve, she doesn’t recognize me.” The Asset tells him, frustration clear in his voice. “Hydra must’ve...”

The Asset trails off when the tall man, Steve, holds out his hand to you. “Punk, what happened to you?” Steve asks, carefully lacing his voice with affection. Is that supposed to mean something to you? You withdraw your hand and step backward. 

Steve sighs and steps closer to you. You don’t want to fight both of them but you will if you have to. “You know us.” His tone is soft and insistent, he wants you to believe him. “You don’t want to hurt us, we aren’t going to hurt you.”

“I don’t believe you.” You grind out through gritted teeth. “I have no idea who you are.” You watch the Asset’s face fall at your words. It’s his job to eliminate you, why does he care? Spinning around, you kick your leg out and hit Steve in the chest. He takes a single step back but is otherwise unaffected. 

As you straighten and start to swing your body, you feel something sharp prick the side of your neck. You stumble back, hand flying up to pull away a small needle. As your vision blurs, you see another man in a red metal suit step closer to you. 

“What the hell did you do that for?” Steve barks angrily, rushing to your side as you fall.

“I’m thrilled she’s alive. Trust me, I am. But you were taking too long.” The man in the suit shrugs. “If she doesn’t remember us, we can deal with that at the compound. We need to get out of here.”

You want to argue, fight back, _something_. But whatever you were just shot with is short circuiting your ability to move your limbs. 

Your eyes flutter shut as the Asset scoops you out of Steve’s arms and carries you out of the room.

  
  


***

With a soft groan, you push yourself up in the hospital bed. Glancing around, you realize that you’re in some kind of medical center. You feel like you just went ten rounds in the ring, _without_ the serum in your veins.

As you shake your head, attempting to figure out what the hell is going on, your last memories come rushing back in a jumbled mess. _Hydra has infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D., Rumlow is working for them._ You have to get out and warn Steve, you have to -

“Hey, Doll.” When you turn you see Bucky sitting on the edge of your bed. You can see wariness in his tired eyes as he watches you. You tilt your head in confusion; he appears different to you. Softer somehow. 

You open your mouth to voice your uncertainty when the rest of your memories come crashing back. “How are you feeling?” He asks, quietly.

You attacked him. When he came back for you, you fought him and Steve. Your hand flies up to your mouth as you let out a sharp gasp. “Oh my god.” You exclaim with widened eyes. “I… I tried to hurt you and Steve.” You blink back a tear as he stands and moves closer to you. “I didn’t know who any of you were, I swear. I didn’t mean it!” 

“I know you didn’t, Doll.” Bucky smiles, running his thumb along your cheek. “Stevie and I know that. God, I can’t imagine what they did to you. I am so sorry it took me so long to find you.”

“So long?” You blink slowly, furrowing your brow. “What do you mean?”

Bucky takes a deep breath and meets your eyes. “You were in that cryochamber for five years, Doll.”

You feel like the wind has been knocked out of you. “ _What?_ ” You sit up straight and push his hand away. “ _Five years_?” You glance around the room, feeling it start to spin. Your chest feels tight when you stare back at him. “How… what happened?” 

He pushes himself up from the bed and starts to pace back and forth. “It’s a long story.”

You raise your eyebrow as you watch him pace. “Well, it looks like we have nothing but time so…” You trail off softly, glancing down at the floor. You don’t want to push him but you’re desperate to know what happened in the years you were frozen.

“After I tried to get out, they caught me. I uh… I fought like hell but they were able to subdue me. They wiped me and I went back under. I was frozen for two years until they needed me again. This time I was sent to take out your boss.”

You whip your head up quickly. “Fury?”

Bucky meets your eyes carefully. “Yes. And Steve got caught in the middle. Pierce ordered me to kill him.” He lets out a shaky breath. “We fought and when he wouldn’t fight back, I almost succeeded. There was an explosion and we were both thrown from the top of the building. In the end, I pulled him from the river because I started to remember him.”

“Oh my god, Bucky.” Your eyes widen in shock. “I’m sorry you had to -”

“I wish I could say it was done from there.” He steps closer to you as he crosses his arms defensively. “I went into hiding for two years. Stayed under the radar and kept to myself as I remembered more and more. As I became more myself, we were able to take down Hydra from the inside. Slowly but surely we were able to eradicate the infection inside of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Bucky turns to face you, his eyes filled with regret. “I started to remember you, Doll. You can’t imagine how awful I felt that I had forgotten you. So I started to do as much research as I could to locate the base you and I had been kept in.”

You push yourself up in the bed and reach out for him. “It’s alright, Bucky. It wasn’t your fault that you were wiped. There’s no way you could’ve avoided it.”

As Bucky sits down on the side of the bed near your hip, he threads his fingers through yours. With his metal hand, he carefully brushes the stray strands of hair from your face. You can’t help but lean into his touch. 

“You have to believe me, Doll,” Bucky implores you, his cerulean eyes searching yours. “As soon as I knew I could, I filled Stevie in on what had happened. The team promised that we would stop at nothing until you were safe. I never wanted this for you.”

You stare at him for a moment, both of you silent as you take in everything he’s told you. Bucky glances down at your fingers mixed with his, taking in the fact that you’re actually here and alive. He stares back up at you, unable to believe that he could truly be this lucky.

With a soft sigh, you run the fingers of your free hand across his cheek gently. “None of that matters now, Bucky. You’re _you_ again and from the looks of it, you’ve found a place here with the team. Everything worked out, didn’t it?”

“Mostly.” He smiles, letting it reach his eyes as he pushes himself up from the bed. “Do you remember what you said to me the last night when we were together?” You close your eyes, trying to recall the memory. “You said that you never imagined that you and I would have grown as close as we did. That I could mean so much to you.”

You nod, remembering that night in flashes. “I told you I felt the same and that if you wanted to, we should try to make a go of _us._ ” After everything, you certainly hope that he does.

Bucky grins at you, pleased that you recall what you both had said that night. “Once you’re out of here, I’d like to take you out on a proper date. One that doesn’t require fighting for our lives.”

“You know,” Steve laughs from the doorway. “That sounds like a great idea.”

You shrink down in embarrassment when he walks into the room. “Steve, I… I’m so sorry. I didn’t know who you were. I swear it.”

“It’s alright, punk.” He rests a hand on Bucky’s arm. “It’s not my first time having to remind a friend who they were. Although, I gotta tell you Buck, she was a lot easier to deprogram than you were.”

Bucky turns to face him. “Yeah well, I’ve got a few years on her, now don’t I?”

You giggle without meaning to. “You _both_ do actually.” They both turn to you with raised brows. You roll your eyes at their scandalized faces. “ _What_? I’m not wrong.”

***

Steve is snoring softly in the chair next to your bed when Tony comes in to check on you a few hours later. “How’re you feeling, kid?” He asks as he crosses his arms. “Didn’t mean to knock you out as hard as I did but I gotta be honest, I was a little concerned by how aggressively you were kicking Cap’s ass.”

“It’s alright, Tony.” You assure him with a small chuckle. “Steve already filled me in. And I _was_ kicking his ass, huh? It wasn’t intentional, I swear. I had no idea -”

Tony rolls his eyes goodnaturedly. “Who we were, yeah, I got that.” He glances over at Steve before turning back to you. “I’m glad you’re back, kid. When we couldn’t find you, we feared the worst. Did Cap tell you that you missed all the fun?”

“Bucky started to fill me in on that, yes.” You glance at Steve for a moment too. “I didn’t feel right asking either of them this. When I was a prisoner, right before I went under, Rumlow showed up, taunted me with his true allegiance. I thought he was there to help but he was working for Hydra, same as Pierce.”

Tony nods in Steve’s direction. “Cap took Rumlow out, you don’t have to worry about him. And Pierce is dead too. I wasn’t kidding when I said you missed a lot. Fury took him out.”

“Well, shit.” You lean back in your bed. “I did miss quite a bit.”

Tony shakes his head as he sits on the edge of your bed. “How about you and Robocop, huh? That really gonna be a thing?”

Rolling your eyes, you playfully shove him. “He was just as much a prisoner as I was. The more time I spent with him, the more I saw him as the man he used to be, the man he desperately wanted to be again. God Tony, the things Hydra made him do -”

Tony’s shoulders tense as you’re speaking. “I know all about that.” There’s a story there, you’re sure of it. You want to ask him more but from the way his mouth shifts into a hard line, you decide it’s best not to comment on it. 

He crosses his arms, shrugging himself out of his funk. “As soon as Barnes was _Barnes_ again, he asked about you. It took Cap and I by surprise, let me tell you. He told us that you had kept him sane in that damn cell. I’ve got my issues with him, but if you could find a way to see the good in him, maybe I can too.”

You don’t know what to say to that. You had hoped that Bucky felt the same as you, he said as much. But it’s different, hearing it confirmed from someone removed from the situation. It fills you with warmth to know that he really did feel the same way.

As you let yourself get lost in your thoughts, Tony clears his throat. “Anyway, it’s late, I just wanted to pop in and see how you were doing. In the morning, I’ll show you to your new suite.”

“I noticed I’m not in the hospital wing of the Triskelion.” 

He pushes himself up and adjusts the sleeves of his jacket. “Always the sharpest tool in the shed, kid. That’s why we like you. But yeah, the Triskelion is no more. Welcome to the Avengers facility.” 

You glance out the window to your right and furrow your brow at the suspicious lack of city lights. Understanding your confusion, Tony cheerfully adds. “In upstate New York.” 

He calls over his shoulder as he heads out the doorway. “You need anything, just ask F.R.I.D.A.Y., she’s like J.A.R.V.I.S. but significantly more sarcastic.”

You settle back down under the blankets as he closes the door. “Welcome home, kid.”

***

You can’t sleep. 

You’re not sure if it’s just too much activity in your brain or if you’re simply not comfortable in a bed that’s not yours. After tossing and turning, you push your blankets back and decide to wander around and explore your new surroundings. 

This facility is huge, floor after floor of offices and training rooms. It already feels more like a home than the Triskelion. After wandering for the better part of an hour, you stumble across a large room that the team must use as a common area.

As you scan the space, your tired eyes zero in on the inviting couch on the side of the room. You make your way over, grabbing a blanket from the back of a chair as you walk. As you wrap yourself in the soft fleece, movement to the right of you makes you jump.

It’s not until you hear his voice, soft in the dark of the room, do you start to relax. “You can’t sleep too, huh?”

“Jesus, Bucky.” Your hand flys up to your chest as you try to steady your thudding heartbeat. “You can’t just sit in the dark, like a creep. You scared me.”

“I didn’t mean to, Doll.” Bucky laughs softly, rising from his chair. “But I figured if I just stood up, you’d be even more freaked out. I tend to move silently.”

You let out a small laugh. “Yeah, I remember that.” You glance around the room. “But, no I can’t really sleep. It’s not that I don’t feel comfortable, I just…”

“I understand.” Bucky stands and crosses the distance to you. “I haven’t had a good night's sleep in years. As awful as that time was, the last time I slept through the night was when I was snuggled up next to you in that fucking cell.”

You stare up at him, the dark blue of his eyes illuminated by the moonlight through the plate glass windows. “Bucky, earlier when I was speaking with Tony -” His eyes widen for a moment. “He told me that as soon as you were you again, you had asked about me. That you told them that I had -”

“Kept me sane.” He finishes for you, lifting your chin with his fingers. “I meant it, Doll. After that night, when you got me warm enough that I could actually sleep, I started to feel something for you. I hoped that you trusted me, and I don’t have a great track record for trust.”

His eyes bore into yours. “So much of my life has felt out of control and for you to just, willingly let your guard down and try to help me. I wasn’t used to that.”

You rest one hand on his chest and the other on his metal arm. “You didn’t deserve what happened to you. Once I could see that you were being controlled, I knew that despite how afraid I was, I needed to help you. Falling for you wasn’t part of the plan, but here we are.”

Bucky chuckles, running a hand through your hair. “I fell just as hard for you, Doll. I promise.” He lowers his head, pressing his lips to yours. His metal hand snakes down your back and pulls you closer to him. You let out a soft sigh as your hands lock around the back of his neck. 

Being this close to him, chest to chest, sends a shiver through you. You can feel your heart thudding excitedly in your chest as his proximity makes your pulse race. You feel safe in his arms, content by the protection you feel in them. “I did trust you.” You whisper hoarsely, urging him on. “I trust you now.”

Bucky smirks, ghosting his lips over yours. “You have no idea what that means to me.” His voice is gruff as he speaks, his desire for you evident in his tone. He presses soft kisses along your jaw and down your neck. Once he’s reached the curve of your breasts, he lifts his head to capture your lips in his, nipping your bottom lip roughly.

You sigh, allowing him to deepen the kiss and his tongue expertly slips into your mouth, teasing you until a soft moan slips out of you. The hand in your hair tightens, making you gasp in surprise. You want him, _now._

You feel desire pooling in your core as you allow him to effortlessly lift you off the ground. “Wrap your legs around me, Doll.” He orders, between breathless kisses. 

You do as you're told and stare at his face, his eyes half-lidded with desire for you. As his metal arm moves underneath you, supporting your body easily, you marvel at its strength and wonder fleetingly what else that arm is capable of.

You’re pulled from that thought by the groan he makes when you wiggle your body closer to him. You can feel the evidence of his arousal pressing against you, letting you know how much he wants you.

When he whispers your name over and over, like a prayer he’s been waiting a lifetime to deliver, you feel yourself falling for him all over again. For the rest of your life, you want your name to be the only word Bucky says with that much reverence.

When he confesses how much he’s missed you, how much he wants you to be his, you absolve him of all his sins by threading your fingers in his hair and kissing him so brazenly that your entire being curves to his. 

You feel yourself shiver and swoon under Bucky’s hands. With his lips on yours, you forget everything else around you except him and the way he’s making you feel. 

With each touch, each press of his lips to your skin, he shows you that you were meant to be kissed this way. Without end, without pause; his lips promising devotion for as long as you’ll allow it. 

The way his eyes and mouth hungrily consume you, you’re helpless to do anything but agree to be his. You’ve wanted it since that first night you slept next to each other. 

As you break the kiss, chest heaving in excitement, you brush your lips against his. “Let’s go to bed.” You suggest softly, tilting your head back to meet his eyes. 

“I thought you’d never ask, Doll.” He grins, walking with you effortlessly to his room. You tighten your arms around him, relaxing into the comfortable chill you feel from his body. You know he feels comforted as well, by the warmth he feels from your closeness.

You rest your head against his shoulder and smile. This won’t be easy, you know that. But what you feel for each other is real and Bucky has always been worth fighting for.

**Author's Note:**

> * She is conscious  
> ** Understood


End file.
